*snap snap snap snap*

Okay so I've been doing a lot of writing in the past little while... I've been doing some MAJOR soul searching this summer, and I feel like I know myself a lot better now. I dug through my old journals and stuff while I was cleaning out my room, and a lot of those old feelings and memories flooded back to me...

I don't really know how to explain it, but if you want to read some of my crap I'll post it...


Too Good
With one freckled face
Enjoy the taste of being disconnected now
But it’s not his fault
And it’s not your fault for what your mind wouldn’t allow
Those beady eyes
Were just a disguise for a destructive wrecking ball
But it’s not his fault
And it’s not your fault; it’s overrated to have it all

You had it way too good for way too long
You were too content; you were just too strong
Now you’re home again, where you don’t belong
Nothing’s been right
Since your whole life went wrong


Only
Only through darkness can we achieve light
Only through blindness can we achieve sight

Only through ignorance can we achieve education
Only through bliss can we experience damnation

Only moving forwards can we understand reverse
And only through love do we experience hurt


Soulmate
Reaching out for that small connection
Just a look, that’s all I need
Tell me that it’s real
Assure me that it’s tangible
And I’ll know my life’s not been wasted
With one touch
…Just one touch
Then I’ll smile you’ll laugh and I’ll look away
Your hand inches closer
My breath begins to shake
As my mind races to comprehend
Your unsure eyes verify the impossible
And before I can speak you whisper goodbye
Reality pixilating around us
With one final longing glance you’ve disappeared
And I’m left alone with a feeble dream
Of what could never be


I have no judgment whatsoever on my own writing, so any feedback is appreciated, but if not whatever... I dont think anyone really reads this anyways.

Ciao home slice,

--Lauren

Summer update...

DAYUM
it's been a while, n'est pas?

I can't believe that Summer's almost over... 2 months is nowhere near sufficent. But let's not dwell on the relentless outcome of the near future. I'll tell you what's been going on in my oh-so-amazing life.

Well, I decided to redecorate my bedroom... My purple, green, pink, & blue colour scheme & unicorn border were no longer up to par, so I forced my dad to drive me to Ikea, and I had a freaking feild day! I don't know about you, But I've always dreamt about living in Ikea. Anyways, I got new furniture (Dark wood, très chic) & super cool green accessories. I also biked over to home depot and bought a gallon of paint -In the process, discovering how difficult biking is when holding a gallon of paint. So I painted my room (all by myself, I'm quite proud) The colour is called "Silver Quill"... which is a fancy name for grey. After all was said & done, I was beyond happy with the turnout. The room is modern & minimalistic... I guess watching all of those design shows on HGTV payed off.

Last night me & my best friend took a walk down to the local convience store, and bought us some large pepsi flavoured slushies. We then walked another 20 minutes to the only park in our community with swings. It was around dinner time, so all of the kids were at home leaving the entire park empty. Without question, me & my friend Jo ran to the swings and started having competitions to see who could swing higher. We were there swinging for hours, laughing & talking, and for the first time... It really felt like summer. The sun was setting behind us as the wind blew our hair around. It was just perfect warm weather, and as we gained momentum with each swing, we... or at least I felt so alive, and so free. I dunno, I can't really describe it... but to me, it's the all of the small moments, that can make a summer memorable.

Ooh and today it was my friend Steph's sweet 16. It was just a small get together with about 7 or 8 of us. It was fun... we ate hotdogs & cake & chocolate covered grapes, and played Mariokart & DDR on the Wii for hours. After that we all went to the movies to see "Step Brothers" The movie was god awful, but sooooo funny! And it was hilarious to see some of my friends' reactions to all of the penis jokes & the like.

Ooh and I got the new book in the Twilight series "Breaking Dawn" the night it came out. READ IT if you haven't. I also got the new Jonas Brothers Album "A Little Bit Longer" when it came out on the 12th. AMAZING!

Before I end this post, I'll leave you with youtube links to the songs I have been obsessed with for the past week... Check em out, all have been Lauren Approved!

Streets on Fire - Lupe Fiasco
I Don't Want to Be - Gavin DeGraw
After Tonight - Justin Nozuka
Say it Again - Marie Digby
Video Girl - Jonas Brothers

So yeah. Tis all my peeps. Now go get a life :P lurveeee ya

--Lauren

Oh Towny Boys...

This weekend I was at my Friend Jo's cottage with her and her family. It was pretty fun, once you got past the fact that bugs like to bite you... I tried wakeboarding for the first time ever; and totally embarassed myself in the process... and when it rained we played a whole lotta scrabble. I am the self proclaimed scrabble champion! Even though I did loose 2 out of 3 games... Jo put down the word "edate" and swore that it was an actual word... What a lie, I looked it up when I got home, you know what it means?... NOTHING. Geeze, what a liar.

There were also 2 creepy old men in the cottage across the lake from us, and I swear they were spying on us. They kept yelling intellegible things at us when we were tanning, and i swear one of them had freaking binoculars... damn pedophiles.

We walked for an hour down to the small town nearby... and when I say small, I mean SMALL! The entire town had one traffic light, and the cool hangout was the celtic giftstore... WTF? how do people LIVE like that? we did however meet a nice towny boy. he was 17 and totally dweebie looking, but he showed us around & stuff so I gave him my number anyways... he seemed pleased with himself and has already called me... twice.

Me & Jo would also stay up every night & have these long philosophical talks about life & such... we even made up lists of 50 things to do before we die (I know it sounds morbid, but it's really not)

But I'm home now, back in Toronto where the air is not clean OR filled with mosquitoes, and my house is not on a lake, and the boys here don't ask for my number... I can't decide whether I'd rather be here or there.

--Lauren

Big apple?

On Saturday, I went on a little bit of a road trip with my cousins to New York. It was my first time in the city, so i was super excited. The drive was about 8 hours... but we made it fun by crankin' up the oldies and playing Ispy. Once we got there, we checked into our ridiculously overpriced hotel, and got settled. Our hotel was right between Soho and Chinatown, and just a block away from little italy.

We saw the sights, and the buildings, and the traffic and so on... we also saw Wicked on broadway (which was A-freaking-MAZING). I also discovered my fear of automatic-flushing toilets. We don't really have those in Canada, and I was freaked out to say the least... I don't know about you, but I find those things incerdibly creepy.

The whole time I was there, I kept asking people if they knew why NY was called the "Big Apple"... and no one seemed to know. It is still seriously bugging me.

I did some shopping, and I got some writing done while I was down there. I also found myself writing 2 poem-type things, one on the way TO new york, and on on the way BACK. Check em out here if you want to:

The City
The endless green sea streches into the vast summits of forever
This mechanical wasteland, woven intricately through
As time drags by uncharacteristicly slow;
The city waits for us.

Homesick
Her pen digs through the tattered pages
as blurred scenery and the unfamiliar pass by wordlessly
her desires have been granted much to her gratitude
although her TRUE longing is miles in the opposite direction
The inner battle rages on as she fights back tears
How can a disarry of humanity hold on so tight?
Well they say that "Home is where the heart is",
Maybe she's just too mentally apathetic to argue

--Lauren

The girl at the Rock Show

Friday June 4th 2008

After a dissapointing Thursday experience... me & my 2 friends Cheryl & Steph were less than enthused about the Actual concert. After washing all of the hobo-ness off of us in a nice long shower, and taking well deserved 12 hour rests... we were set to go See the Jonas Brothers in concert.

We didn't go early, like we had planned... instead we just got to the venue an hour early, our homemade t-shirts & posters in hand. My shirt said "Kevin is my guitar hero" and my poster said "Canadian fans are Tighter than your pants"... I thought that I was very clever :)

Of course, as soon as the music started, all of our gloomy-ness (Is that a word?) was erased, and replaced with pure elation. The show was nothing short of amazing, and our seats were really good! I was in total fan girl mode... I even wore a princess tiara so that they would notice me! They sang flawlessly, and the set was sooooo sick!

I had a great time, and it totally made up for the crappy Thursday.

(Sorry these posts are soooo fan-girly... the rest will be Jonas free i promise)

--Laurennn

Mucho Updatos.

WOW lots to say, about the past 2 weeks, so I will probably end up with 2 or more posts tonight... but we shall see.

OKAY, so...

Thurdsay July 3rd, 2008... the Jonas Brothers were comming to Toronto for a special LIVE @ MUCH interview-type-thing at Much Music. 4 of my friends and I decided that it would be an "experience" to go down to the TV station's headquarters super early and try to get really good spots so we can see them. So the whole gang and I woke up at 3:20 AM, and headed downtown. We got there at around 4:00 AM, and the line was already gargantually HUGE! we were like, 300th in line.

It was depressing... but we decided to stay & wait anyways. I mean we had already woken up at such an ungodly hour, and we were there... so we waited. It was fine and all... until about 5:30. That, was when the rain started. The five of us had only one umbrella to share, so we quickly made friends with the girls infront of us in line, for they had a pluthura of umbrellas.

two words.... BIG MISTAKE. The two girls may have seemed normal on the exterrior... oh but they were anything but. They turned out to be 3 years younger than us, and freakishly clingy. Every conversation we had from there on after included them... And one of the gils... Jen... she would just blurt out random facts about herself when we weren't talking about her. We would seriously be saying something like "This reminds me of that time in History class when..." and Jen would just blurt out "I'm kind of afraid of frogs". NO FREAKING JOKE. She was weirddd.

Anyways, the day progressed, and the rain went away by nine-ish. We took shifts manning the line spot, and going for bathroom breaks. We were all bored as hell... but we managed to occupy ourselves for 12 hours. We even got on the local news... apparently the line was so long that it was news-worthy. There literally were over 2000 people by 4PM.

At around 4, we all got to go to the stage where the boys would be interviewed, and we were actually pretty close to the front because we'd gotten there early. The show started at 5 and that's when all hell broke loose. Everyone started pushing and shoving, and it seriously got violent, just to catch a glimpse of JB. I got to touch Joe Jonas... it was amazing :)

We got a few pictures of them... but eventually the crowd became too much. These girls were freaking crazy. There was hair pulling, and shoving. My friend's toe got stepped on to the point where it got fractured. We had to leave about halfway through the interview. It was totally dissapointing. Its a week later, and I'm still trying to decide if it was worth it.

We took the subway home, and my friend had to go the the hospital for her toe. She's alright & everything... she just has a brace around her foot.

The moral of this story?

Jonas Brothers fans are C-R-A-Z-Y... fo serioius.

--lauren

O Canadaaaaaaa

These Kids are sooo my new bffs :) haha, so yeahhh today is Canada Day, Where the entire nation crowds together in fields or backyards, and set off fireworks to show our national pride. Is it the most dignified way to show pride? -not by a long shot... but fireworks are just so damn pretty :)

But anyways, It was kinda nice to see the parades & crap on Main Street, and red maple leafs everywhere you turn. I mean seriously, Canada's not a terrible place to live... It's like the USA, only lamer. And there are an abundance of moose & maple syrup... and we say "eh" like there's no tomorrow.

hitcha back soon

--Lauren