crap crap crap...

It's kind of funny how the weekend I was expecting turned out to be the total opposite... okay maybe it's not so much funny as it is painstakingly infuriating.

For the first time in a long time, I had absolutley no plans for this weekend. All of my friends are either in another counrty for the weekend, or working, or at some Future coaches of Canada course, or visiting grandparents... or something. Anyways, I planned on taking advantage of the alone time, and catch up on writing my stories, and finish reading Pride & Prejudice, and study my rational exponents so I don't fail math this year.

So I wake up this morning, and I immediatly get a list of chores to do form my dad. This is not out of the ordinary, but i was a little thrown off by the "and have it all done before noon." part. WTF? So after cleaning my room, vacuming the pool, and mopping the kitchen floor, I ask my mom what's up. This is when I found out that my aunt & uncle were comming over for their first monthly alotted supervised visit with their kids (my cousins) who have been living with my family for the past 7 months, due to my aunt and uncle being deemed unfit parents by Children's aid.

I was furious. I hated my aunt and uncle with every fiber of my being. My uncle was a drug dealer, finding himself in and out of jail every other weekend. My aunt was a neglegent mother, caring more about her monthy manicure than paying the bills. It was their fault my family fell apart, and it was their fault that i went through everything that I did. I used to blame my parents for my emotional turmoil... when in reality nothing was their fault at all.

And now my aunt & uncle are sitting in my living room, sipping on the coffe that I had to make, spending time with their three kids who deserve so much better than the parents they were given. I just can't stand to go down their and watch the scene unfold. I'd rather sit on my bed, ranting to mylaptop, listening to "Brand New" and "Justin Nozuka" trying to stable myself.

The last thing I want to do is read about Mr. Darcy's ellusive manner, or write about Parker Mac's love life.

I'm really tempted to hop out my window, climb down the drain pipe and just leave this house for an hour or two... go to starbucks, get some food in me, or go shopping or something. But it's raining... stupid forecast.

upset&emotional

--Lauren.