bee-eff-eff ?

Are all best friends so emotionally needy?

... or is that just a trait specially reserved for my best friend?

I mean, I get it... I'm her bestfriend, I'm here to help her out, grab her a tissue when she breaksdown, and tell her that it'll all be okay... But lately (in the last few months) it's been non-stop! She over-reacts to EVERYTHING and I've gotten countless phone calls & texts at 2 in the morning saying that she hated life & hated the world & hated everything about everything. If its not complaining about the boy that doesn't notice her, its her classes that suck, or her mom on her case about something

& There is ALWAYS something. She makes problems out of absolutly nothing, and kills herself with stress and grief and sorrow. Its painful to watch, and not really be able to do anything about it... But I'm there, by her side everytime she needs me... trying to console her, or to be her reality check. I may not always say the right thing... and I may give her the answers she didn't want, but in the end, I'm there when she needs me. Every time.

But how come she can't seem to reciprocate any of that? I have problems... a hell of a lot of them to be honest. My family's messed up in ways she can't even imagine... My family's been through so much crap, including, but not limited to: Drug abuse, Jail time, cancer, deaths, foster care... the list goes on & all within the last 8 months. When I was at my worst, I tried to talk to my friend about how i felt... I needed some assurance of normalcy & the like, but no. She was "Going to her sister's dance recital". the next day she was "watching a movie on TV" and she couldn't PVR it because it was "getting to the good part" UGH

yet when when she has a freak out the day before she leaves for camp, claming that she will hate it there & won't make any friends... I was the one talking her through it, assuring her that she would have fun, texting these things While sitting in my Uncle's Funeral!!!!!

I've always been insecure of my role in the world... I hate feeling obsolete. It's bad enough to feel that way with my family, but not being good enough for my friends attention... It's just too much.

But I guess I'll have to get over it in the way I normally do... Be my own bestfriend. Sad, I know, but necessary. Writing out my feelings is probably more benificial than talking about them to someone else anyways. I'm just thankful I''m a relatively positive person... pessimism is too hard to spell.

Sorry4therant

--Lauren